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Can Women Be Abusers?

Can women be physical and emotional abusers? To the heights that men can? Sure. I actually never thought they could until I went through with a woman roommate things I had only seen family and just couples put each other through.

I had known Megan for years, since we had worked together at a convenience store, and at that time we had been roommates for a short period of time. Being from Detroit and raised poor but tough, she could be a little forceful, but never cruel or mean. My experience with Megan at that time was that she was a loving and caring person.

Then I moved out and didn't see her for several years, having gone out-of-state. Coming back, I visited Megan and received an invitation to live with her again as a roommate. That really pleased me because she had been a fun roommate before, and she was a take-charge type. The first time we had lived together, I was the one who worked and brought home the paycheck while Megan quit her job and stayed home. She did the laundry, housework, cooking, shopping. I gave her my entire check and she gave me back a small allowance, enough for bus fare and lunch.

Now, the second time I moved in with her, I had become ill and was living on Social Security Disability. We decided on a rent for one bedroom and board. I paid her two months rent up front. When I got my check that first month, despite the fact that she had already gotten her required two month's rent, she took the entire disability check. That should have been my first warning.

Then she locked up my clothes, choosing herself what I would wear each day. She called me from her job several times a day, demanding what I was doing, if I had been outside, if I had made phone calls, if I had eaten, and what. I was to clean the entire house, top to bottom, each day. She would drop by the house at various times of day, and surprise me to see if I was inside the house or in the back yard. She checked the phone log to see if I had made any calls, or if anyone had called me.

Did I mention that I am a woman?

Megan was not my lover, but here I was, stuck in some freakish situation like an enslaved housewife. Then one night, her ex-husband came over to visit her, and we all three sat outside on the veranda. I didn't go outside on my own. Megan told me to come outside and visit. It's not as though it made me giddy to chat with someone's ex. After a while Megan went back inside and told me to keep her ex company. After half an hour, she suddenly exploded through the screen door and screamed at me to get back inside, where she promptly beat the hell out of me. Black eye, split lips, nice, big black bruises on my arms where she squeezed my arms so hard, the blood vessels ruptured, and her fingerprint bruises on my throat where she strangled me until I passed out and she at last calmed down. She helped me into my bed and got me a cup of coffee, apologizing and telling me I was a good fighter. I just stared at her. Two days later, I made it to a hospital, where they put me in intensive care but refused to photograph me, claiming they only photographed senior citizen adults. I made it to a battered women's shelter, where I found out that I wasn't the only woman there who had had her ass handed to her by another woman, lover or not. What was truly scary was that I couldn't get a protection order from this madwoman because we didn't have a relationship! I've never heard of such a thing. So you can't keep some animal away from you unless you are having sex? What about stalker laws? I guess they didn't have those, either, and this was a pretty good-sized city.

You might wonder where Megan's husband was during the beating. Well, he had rushed into the house but Megan had decked him on the spot, knocking him right out. That woman had the strength of a dock worker. I'll tell you, I will never purposefully screw with someone from Detroit. I know, I joke about it now, but I was crying back then. I can see how husbands can be abused, I guess.

by: G-1017


December 03, 2014 (4 years ago)

14 Replies & Comments

Years and years ago, I knew a married couple. The wife was a best friend of mine and her husband was a biker, real tough guy. The wife beat up on the husband! I saw it. She was get herself worked up and slap and punch him in the face and kick and bite. I never saw the husband hit her back. He would try to calm her and hold her hands away. It got to the point where I stopped visiting them entirely. That was the only experience I had with a woman abuser.

by: G-27

Message #1

December 11, 2014 (4 years ago)

Short answer, Yes. Being a man it is infuriating to me when women say that women can't be as abusive as men. Statistically I won't argue that men are more likely to be abusive towards women - but that wasn't the subject. Both Men and Women are able to do a great deal of abusive things to each other - both physically and psychologically. What I have in mind at the moment doesn't fit your experience all that well but it is definitely possible for women to be as abusive as men, although less are.

by: G-412

Message #2

June 14, 2015 (4 years ago)

Stats say that the most violent relationships between lovers are lesbian.

by: G-592

Message #3

November 11, 2015 (3 years ago)

No they don't. The most violent relationships are between gay men. Stop dinging on the women, why don't you?

by: Still Sarah

Message #6

February 12, 2016 (3 years ago)

I believe it is wrong for anyone to hit another human. Male or female, though I believe if someone hits you or grabs you in a way you don't like. Tell them if they hit you AT ALL. You have the right to hit them back. Now I know most people are afraid to hit a woman, because they don't want to be arrested. But I feel that you could have yelled at her in anyway that could make her stop if not, you could call the cops. See what happens next. If you felt you were really in danger then slap her. This is why when I hear a WOMAN wants gender equality, I think it's a load of bullshit. Since if you hit her she'll just call the cops and have you arrested. WHEN CLEARLY she wanted gender equality and you showed it.

by: G-662

Message #4

January 02, 2016 (3 years ago)

You are wrong, guest. It is never all right to hit a person. It doesn't matter if she hits you first. That is not a justification to strike her back. That is just an act of cowardice. You want to hit a woman, just admit it. If a person hits you, you walk a away. If it's a woman, leave the house if you have to. If someone is on drugs or out of control, then it's your duty as a human being to call for medical help, isn't it? Now, really. You just don't have the right to cause harm.

by: Still Sarah

Message #7

February 12, 2016 (3 years ago)

"You want to hit a woman, just admit it."

You're an idiot. If a girl keeps harassing you, hitting you, slapping you, calling you names and crap then she deserves to get her ass handed to her.

by: G-874

Message #10

March 27, 2016 (3 years ago)

Damned right ! And usually does get her ass handed to her and she asked for it and deserved it and received it. If a women gets physical with me I will not hesitate to knock her ass out. Her boyfriend too if he wants the same. Women in my area know what to expect if they want to take it to the physical level. Very few do I assure you !

by: G-879

Message #12

April 01, 2016 (3 years ago)

Only a weak man hits a woman. Sorry, but it's true. You can push your woman away and walk out of the door. Leave her, divorce her. Do whatever, and go off with your buddies. But hitting a creature who only has one-tenth of your strength on a good day is cowardly in the extreme. That is why it's illegal.

by: G-886

Message #13

April 01, 2016 (3 years ago)

Of course you are lying. If you were walking around your neighborhood, beating up women, you would be in prison, period. But brag away.🙂

by: G-887

Message #14

April 01, 2016 (3 years ago)

IN addition, your final words clearly show you are an abuser. I just hope one of your neighbors turn you in, or you're stupid enough to register on a site and brag like you are here.

by: Still Sarah

Message #8

February 12, 2016 (3 years ago)

she's mentally ill. leave as fast as you can.

by: G-699

Message #5

January 19, 2016 (3 years ago)

No shit, mentally ill. Maybe borderline personality. Yeah, I watch the TV a lot/🙂

by: Still Sarah

Message #9

February 12, 2016 (3 years ago)

Just as many mothers as fathers if not more are directly responsible for destroying childhoods and raising future sociopaths and basic scum of the earth because they were never fit to raise a dog much less a child. If they become a later victim that is Karma at its very best.

by: G-878

Message #11

April 01, 2016 (3 years ago)

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