I've been married almost a year now and just found out I'm pregnant. My marriage hasn't been the nicest or easiest, like most. I have always been doubtful of my now husband. When I first met him, he immediately asked m out. Less than a year later he proposed and within a year we were married, I tried to postpone the wedding due to his rush but he insisted and even threatened me not ever marry me if I didn't do it now and I fell in love so I went through with the wedding. Within a few months he cheated on me. I forgave him because of our vows. I made things clear to him that their wouldn't be any children, but he mentioned how the pill was making me fat and act absurd, so as soon as I stop taking it he stop using protection and I got pregnant. Now, he makes half the income I do and is mentally and emotinallt abusive. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to ask my family because when he first cheated on me, I ran to them and still forgave him. So now I feel like the boy who cried wolf. I'm unhappy because he is just extra baggage and can't manage his own life financially without me. What can I do?
June 09, 2015 (4 years ago)
I can only tell you what I would do. Dump him, go back to the arms of your family, and file for divorce. Do it now, before your child is born. What you did before is not "crying wolf", anyhow. Don't feel bad about getting a bum. It happens to the best of us. Ditch this assclown now before it gets harder. This is what family is for. Hugs!
by: Still Sarah
June 10, 2015 (4 years ago)
You mean he is abusing you emotionally/mentally, or that he is emotionally/mentally abused?
From the way you describe it, it reads almost as if he urgently wanted a marriage or at the very least a child - the opposite of you(child,not marriage ). Have you ever asked him why?
I'm one that's not in any position to give suggestions given my own situation and even if I were, I like to give people the list of choices they have and make a decision on their own - but I believe that any relationship, where both partners are sane and understand the concept of emotions - problems can be solved by talking to each other(not a third party such as a couple counseling person that has nothing to do with it really).
So I'd give that a go, as it sounds like you still have that chance to talk about deep things with him to get everything cleared out between the two of you so that both understand and are on the same playing field of your situation - regardless of the outcome if that is for good or bad.
However if he is abusive, mainly physically(sure psychologically counts as well but that part is often heavily influenced by the physical abusing if that's the case) - I would consider that in the category Not-Sane, at which point he isn't very logical and/or emotionally adept - or plainly even have some sort of mental instability. Talking is most likely not gonna be effective with people that don't understand emotions nor are able to relate to how others might be feeling - in which case I'd also suggest dumping him(which I'm usually against when it happens for no Real Good reason like i.e bored of him/her, but in this case it's due to his own fault)like the above comment suggest.
Shortly summed, I'd give a deep talk a try plainly laying it all out to both of you how your current situation is and what you can both do to address it. Best that can happen is that you both work it out - worst is that you end up leaving each other, which you are already contemplating anyway. If he is Obviously Abusive, skip the talking and ask for help dumping him - as it could be a hassle. Never know what people might do given sudden news.
June 14, 2015 (4 years ago)
Hi, I would like to invite you to register and create an account with us(if you wish). Eventually you would be able to post un-moderated posts! Thank you for your insights!-- Miss B.
by: Miss B.
June 14, 2015 (4 years ago)