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[Everyday Life]

I Drowned My Cellphone

Of all the stupid stunts I've pulled, this one really takes the cake. I just bought a beautiful new smartphone, one that put me back almost three hundred dollars, and I'm not even talking about the two-year contract. I had to take the contract to get the price. I picked up the Data Plan, of course, the works. I was almost dancing, my first smartphone, yay!

Now get this: I work from my desk and I needed a holder for the phone, right? I didn't want to just lay the phone on the desk, because I have a cat and she is in the habit of climbing up here and methodically knocking things down. I didn't want to see my phone lying in bits and pieces on the floor. So I spent almost two days searching the web for a cute holder, almost settling on one that looked like a princess shoe. I mean, it needed to be cute, since I was working on covering my expensive phone with rhinestones.

Look, I know there are girls out there who understand me. And maybe a few men, too. Don't deny it.

Anyhow, in the meantime, I was keeping my smartphone in a souvenir NASA coffee cup on my desk. I never drink coffee out of this cup. It was a gift to me from my stepmother, and I also keep a few rock crystals in it. I keep this souvenir cup on the right side of my desk, in a handy position right next to my real coffee cup.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Today I got off the phone with my caseworker, and put the phone back in it's holder. Or so I thought. Then an hour later, I reached for the phone to make another call and pulled out a dripping wet phone, because of course I had put my three-hundred dollar smartphone into the real cup of coffee and not the NASA cup.

I just sat there, staring at the ruined phone. Because I have news for you, this myth of putting a wet phone into a jar of dry rice is just that: a myth. But I tried it anyhow. I opened my phone, used rice, tried everything. That phone was ruined. I had had it for a total of three and a half weeks.

And guess what? I didn't have insurance! I had opted not to take the $7-a-month insurance because I was a cheap bitch! Yay! I'm so freaking pissed!

What makes me so furious and sick to my stomach is that it's totally my fault. I put the phone into the cup of coffee and it was my decision to be a cheap bitch and keep my wallet glued shut. I mean, why on Earth did I decided that a three hundred dollar phone didn't warrant seven extra bucks a month?? It's because this is how I was raised! Ah! I can blame it on my parents!

I really can. I'm serious. This is exactly how I was raised. And I completely intend to blame this whole mess on my parents. And then I intend to pick up my phone on my LAN line and order the cheapest, crappiest cell phone from my wireless operator and cry when I buy the insurance. Because buying the insurance for an ugly phone really IS depressing.

by: Still Sarah


November 23, 2014 (4 years ago)

5 Replies & Comments

Oh! This is because of you that they created waterproof phones! (kidding)

by: G-38

Message #1

December 15, 2014 (4 years ago)

It would be selfish of me to take all the credit. The modern toilet probably gets the lion's share 😛

by: Still Sarah

Message #2

December 16, 2014 (4 years ago)

This is a classical example of why to buy that $7 or so, a month insurance! So many things can happen to a cell-phone; be sat on, fall in a lake, somehow get lost, fall in toilet, be left on top of car and fall off, (lost my first one that way- I was watching an awesome sunset - that's my excuse). Yes we drove back around and looked but it was gone! My last neat little flip-phone was simply lost and we have never found it. But that caused us to buy me a really awesome Samsung Galaxy with a great camera so I can't complain. And it is insured.

by: G-423

Message #3

June 14, 2015 (4 years ago)

I understand that most people drop them into the toilet when they pull up their pants, hahaha! Personally I don't put my cellphone in my pants because I'm afraid of pickpockets. I always carry my phone in my purse and then hold the purse by the straps in my teeth when I pee. I have a system.

by: G-799

Message #4

February 21, 2016 (3 years ago)

Some phones are water proof (more or less). Indirectly related, I can't imagine how many smartphones are broken all the time, this should represent a tremendous amount of garbage and pollution!

by: G-1773

Message #5

August 25, 2019 (1 months ago)

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